Matchweek 3
The Verdict.

Matchweek 3 of the 2026–27 Premier League delivered everything this league promised and more. Arsenal kept their perfect record intact. Tottenham kept their goalless streak very much alive. Manchester United drew an away game they thought they won, then they didn't. And the Couch, against all statistical probability, called the exact scoreline of the match of the week.

Liverpool got their first win of the season at Portman Road. Ipswich had performed respectably in their opening two games — a win over Sunderland, a creditable defeat at Old Trafford — but Alexander Isak on a Friday night is not a problem anyone in the Championship was prepared for. Isak headed home in the first half and converted a composed finish after the break. Two-nil. Bradley Barcola, making his Liverpool debut as a substitute, added energy and pace on the flank that the Portman Road crowd had no answer to. Gakpo was the battleSTAR Galáctico — probing, creative, the architect of both goals from deeper positions. The Couch predicted Liverpool 2–1 Ipswich. Got Liverpool 2–0. Right team, clean sheet bonus, different scoreline. The Couch takes it.

Manchester City were efficient, if unspectacular, at the Etihad. Coventry City are a recently promoted side with honest intentions and limited budget, and they defended with considerable organisation. But Haaland, given a single clear opportunity — a near-post header from a Cherki cross — took it with absolute precision at the 37th minute. Gigi Donnarumma then delivered a masterclass in goalkeeping, making three difficult saves in the second half to preserve the clean sheet. City win 1–0. The Couch predicted City 3–0. Got City 1–0. Right team, right clean sheet, wrong goal count. The Couch predicted more goals than Haaland provided, which is not a sentence that feels comfortable to write.

Nottingham Forest and Tottenham served up the most defensive 90 minutes of the matchweek. Zero-nil. Zero shots on target from Spurs. The City Ground was patient. Bentancur was good — disciplined, energetic, the best Spurs player on a pitch that produced almost no football of note. De Zerbi's side have now played 270 Premier League minutes without scoring a single goal. That is not a statistic. That is a crisis. The Couch predicted Forest 3–3. That missed the mark by a mile ... actually by 6 goals. The Couch is choosing not to examine this prediction too closely.

Everton versus Manchester United was the human drama of the weekend. Mbeumo gave United the lead, and United seemed like they would win it. But Everton were relentless in the second half, and got an equalizer from Tyrique George, who blasted home a finish that the United goalie, Lamens, did not see coming. But the joy was shortlived, as Benjamin Sesko, on as a second half substitute, struck a header into the net just minutes after the equalizer. At 2–1 down, Everton looked finished. Everton kept attacking, but United looked like they were getting the three points. And then in the 96th minute, Ainsley Maitland-Niles, on debut as a substitute, nailed a right footer from a distance for an improbable equalizer. Two-two. Final score. The Hill Dickinson roared. It was dramatic, and spectacular. battleSTAR Galáctico: Tyrique George. The Couch predicted Everton 1–1. Got 2–2. Drew it. The Couch predicts a draw, gets a draw, and will absolutely count this.

And then the match of the week. Arsenal 2–1 Chelsea. A top-of-the-table collision between two unbeaten sides. Chelsea led in just 77 seconds through Morgan Rogers — one of those early goals that rewrites the shape of an entire match in an instant. The Emirates went quiet. And then Arsenal did what Arsenal do: they ignored the deficit, trusted themselves, and put on a show on offense, and did everything but score in wave after wave of attack. Finally, in the 25th minute, Havertz found the back of the net with a wonderful move inside, kicking a left footer through the legs of a defender, just evading a diving Emi Martinez. The unique part about that goal is that it came after a sequence where every single Arsenal player on the pitch — yes, all eleven players, including their goalkeeper David Raya — touched the ball. The first such sequence in the Premier League. Post the equalizer, even though it was a back and forth game, it seemed inevitable that Arsenal would score again — they were largely controlling possession, constantly attacking, and Chelsea were a threat on the counter, but created very little. And right on cue, it happened. In the second half, Odegaard — the captain, the conductor — finished the move of the half at 50', a goal of absolute quality. The assist went to Tzolis, who gave a through ball into the box. But the move that really made the goal happen was Havertz's dummy, which enabled the captain to come in from behind and slot the ball into the back of the net in brilliant fashion. Chelsea pressed. Chelsea huffed. There was a brilliant shot by Estevao which was saved by Raya. But not much else. Arsenal held on for a deserved win. Two-one. Nine points from nine. Three wins, zero goals conceded until this game, and the title seems like it is Arsenal's to lose. Martin Odegaard was the battleSTAR Galáctico — his goal won it, his leadership shaped it. The Couch predicted Arsenal 2–1 Chelsea. The Couch got Arsenal 2–1 Chelsea. The Couch is going to be talking about this for months.