Matchweek 3

Liverpool need to win this. Desperately, urgently, and with the kind of quiet intensity that Andoni Iraola probably addresses in training by not saying very much but letting the video clips do the talking. Two draws from two games. Two points. For a squad that cost the best part of four hundred million pounds in the last two summers — Isak, Wirtz, Barcola — that is not where you planned to be heading into September.

The good news: Ipswich Town are the opposition. O'Neil's side won their opening game against Sunderland — impressive for a newly promoted club — and then travelled to Old Trafford where they were comprehensively beaten 2-5, after taking an early lead and showing some early promise. A Friday night at Portman Road could turn out to be a rollicking affair. Not really, says the Couch.

Florian Wirtz has been the big question through two weeks — quiet at Newcastle, uninspiring against Forest despite the draw. The Couch's claim: it is finally that time when Wirtz will shine, energizing the travelling supporters from Liverpool and creating at least two goals. This is the weekend Wirtz finally puts in a signature Premier League performance. Bradley Barcola, off the bench as he may not be match fit, will likely thrill Iraola with a goal on debut for Liverpool.

Ipswich will be organised and motivated. Portman Road will be bouncing. But Liverpool have too much quality, and two dropped points in two games has a way of focusing the mind.

The Couch picks Ipswich 1–2 Liverpool. Barcola with the winner. Wirtz with the assist. Liverpool finally start climbing.

Enzo Maresca's Manchester City come into Matchweek Three with six points, six goals scored, two conceded — and Erling Haaland continuing his form from the World Cup. He scored twice against Crystal Palace in Matchweek Two. He does not stop when he is in that mood. Coventry City, fresh from two consecutive defeats and zero goals scored, are the next obstacle. This will be as much of a mismatch on the field as it appears on paper.

Lampard's Coventry are organised. Frank Lampard is a manager who knows how to defend, who knows how to limit a great attacking side's space, and who will absolutely have set up a very specific shape to try to frustrate City in the first twenty minutes. Whether that shape holds for ninety minutes is another matter entirely.

Rayan Cherki has been extraordinary and will continue in the same vein. City's brand new midfield — with Elliott Anderson and the newly acquired Enzo Fernández — will control the game flow. And City will be in a punishing mood. When they are in that kind of form and mood, against a team without a league goal to their name, the outcome is not really in doubt.

The Couch picks Man City 3–0 Coventry. Haaland gets one. Cherki gets one. City keep a clean sheet. Coventry remains winless and scoreless.

The Couch does not know how to think about this fixture. If he were to rely on data, and perhaps the eye test from matchweeks 1 and 2, Forest should be overwhelming favourites. They have been genuinely impressive — organised, physical, led twice at Anfield of all places, ultimately settling for a two-two draw. Oliver Glasner's three-trophy run at Crystal Palace, and before that a Europa League title at Frankfurt, has taught him exactly how to make a difficult environment even more difficult for the visiting side. The City Ground will be rocking, and will be doing so in a very specific direction.

And their opponents — Tottenham Hotspur have not scored a single league goal in one hundred and eighty minutes of football. Zero. This is not a statistical quirk. This seems to be a deep structural problem. De Zerbi's build-out system requires time, buy-in from players who understand the mechanics, and defenders who can pass out from the back under sustained pressure. Spurs, with their brand new midfield and a brand new forward line — Savio, Omar Marmoush, Mohammed Kudus — have the talent to change this. But they have not found it yet.

The Couch's prediction is chaos. And the Couch means that in the most specific possible way. The City Ground will produce goals — Forest's attacking talent, particularly Gibbs-White, has been underrated so far — and Spurs, with all their new signings desperate to break their duck, will finally, mercifully, put the ball in the net. Possibly several times. Three-three is the Couch's prediction, and the Couch is aware that this is an extreme call. The Couch stands by it.

The Couch picks Forest 3–3 Spurs. Spurs score their first goals of the season. It will be a back and forth game. Everyone will be entertained.

Manchester United versus Everton on Merseyside has, historically, produced exactly the kind of grinding, combative, deeply unsatisfying-to-neutrals football that is absolutely compelling if you happen to support either side, or if you are a fan of getting root canals.

Michael Carrick's United arrive with three points from six — one humiliation, one hat-trick performance — and the specific unpredictability that seems to be their defining trait so far this season. Everton sit on four points after two games — a win over Crystal Palace in their opener, a draw at Bournemouth. David Moyes has them compact, organised, and willing to make life very uncomfortable for any team that tries to play through them.

Everton faltered towards the end of the transfer window, ending up with one of the thinnest squads in the Premier League. And they lost Iliman Ndiaye to Manchester City. But they have a new weapon this season in Jack Grealish — whose ability to draw fouls, keep the ball, and create in tight spaces is exactly the kind of quality Everton have been missing for years.

Bruno Fernandes versus Everton's press will be the chess match of this Sunday afternoon. Bruno, coming off a hat-trick, is in exactly the kind of form that makes United's attacking midfield irresistible — when he is instinctive and decisive, there is nobody in the league quite like him. But the Hill Dickinson Stadium, under Moyes, is a proper test. The Couch has enormous respect for what Moyes has built at Everton. He does not make results easy for anyone.

The Couch picks Everton 1–1 Manchester United. Grealish with a sublime assist. Cunha with the equaliser. Both managers shake hands, both thinking they deserved more. Neither wrong.

The fixture the Couch has been circling since the schedule was released. Arsenal versus Chelsea. A top of the table clash. Six points each. Zero defeats between them. Two of the best and deepest teams in the division, playing in two very different styles, under two managers who are great friends, played for the same youth team in Spain, and were in fact neighbours growing up.

Arsenal under Mikel Arteta have built something efficient and surgical. The movement is coordinated, the pressing is relentless, and Bruno Guimarães in the centre of midfield has fit like a glove, given the evidence from last matchweek. David Raya has not been beaten in two games. Ben White and Ricardo Calafiori's darting runs are a weapon that very few Premier League defenders have been equipped to handle. Bukayo Saka — with two goals in two matches — will be the focal point of everything Chelsea's defence tries to stop. They will probably fail.

Chelsea, under Xabi Alonso, are the most entertaining side in the country right now — with the JP Morgan front-line creating and scoring at will. The scorelines — four-three against Brighton and three-two against Fulham — tell you the story so far. They can play their way to a two-nil half-time lead and still somehow make it dramatic. Cole Palmer — when he is on — is one of the best if not the best players in English football. Full stop. João Pedro, in his second season at Stamford Bridge, is firing on all cylinders. Morgan Rogers brings an intelligence and creativity to this team that works in perfect harmony with both of them.

The Couch's worry for Chelsea is the defensive structure. Alonso is still finding his optimal back line, and a team that has leaked goals against Fulham and Brighton are also capable of conceding to anyone in the top half. Arsenal — particularly Saka and Tzolis — will identify those gaps within twenty minutes.

The Couch's worry for Arsenal is Palmer on a day when the universe aligns and every touch lands perfectly. There is nothing you can do about those days. You just have to hope he is slightly off-colour.

The Emirates will be rocking. The Couch believes Arteta's organisation, the defence's solidity and Raya's goalkeeping give Arsenal the edge — but this is the kind of game where anything can happen, and probably will.

The Couch picks Arsenal 2–1 Chelsea. Saka and Havertz with the goals. Palmer pulls one back. The last twenty minutes will be anxiety-inducing and nail-biting for Arsenal supporters, and utterly magnificent for everyone else.