EPL Power Rankings v2

Defending champions. Six points from six, zero goals conceded. Bruno Guimarães anchors the best midfield in England. The Couch does not say this lightly: back-to-back is happening.

Post-Guardiola. Haaland scores 30, Maresca impresses. Enzo Fernández is the deadline-day signing that makes an already elite midfield frightening. The Couch rates them ahead of Liverpool on squad depth and window outcome alone.

Alonso + Palmer + Morgan Rogers + Emi Martínez. Chelsea 4-3 Brighton in MW1 tells you everything — always expected to score, defence still finding its feet. The Couch upgraded them to Tier 1 and stands by every word.

Isak + Wirtz + Barcola is a front line that will stop the nation. The Anfield Fear Factor is real. But blending three record-signings takes time — and Forest 2-2 at Anfield is the argument. Title contenders by Christmas, wobble in February, top four by May.

Carrick has the temperament and the dressing room's respect. MW1: humiliated at Hull. MW2: 5-2 vs Ipswich after going behind — a perfect metaphor for their entire identity. Capable of almost anything, consistent about nothing.

£400m+ spent. New midfield. New forward line. Zero goals scored in two matches, five conceded. De Zerbi will eventually produce extraordinary football at that magnificent stadium. But Tottenham will do something uniquely Tottenham in February. The Couch has been saying this for fifteen years. It keeps being right.

Lost Rogers, Martínez, Konsa, Watkins and Tielemans. Emery has quality replacements but moulding them quickly enough for a UCL campaign is the whole question. The Unai Emery League awaits.

Andrews inherits the Frank Effect and runs with it. Magic dust applied for the second consecutive year. Feed it to Thiago and let the chips fall where they may. The Moneyball Club will surprise many. Europe again beckons.

The conveyor belt never stops. Hürzeler's second season should produce cleaner football. Conference League won't hurt them — it'll develop them. Mitoma and Minteh fitness clouds are temporary. Yalcouyé is a name to watch.

Upgraded. Jaissle's high-press system produced 2-0 over Spurs in MW2. Elanga and Wissa already clicking. Fernández-Pardo and Nico González add further depth. The rebuild is off to a far more promising start than anyone expected. The Couch moved them up a tier and does not expect to regret it.

Organised, hard to beat, and the Vitality Stadium will be very loud for the first home European game. Marco Rose takes the Iraola baton. Grealish adds star quality. The Couch might actually cry at the first Europa League Thursday.

Moyes provides structure and discipline. Grealish adds a creative dimension Everton haven't had in years. Defensively solid. Will be tough to beat. Grinding out 1–0s at Hill Dickinson Stadium is exactly what they need.

The Couch's Team of the Season. League One in 2017. Europa League in 2026. The first home European night at the Stadium of Light will be one of the nights of the English football season. The story keeps writing itself.

Conference League champions. Keep losing players — Lacroix the latest. But somehow, keep ticking. Pierre Sage is a smart manager. The Europa League will be a wonderful adventure and a genuine distraction simultaneously.

Glasner transformed Frankfurt and Palace. Can he do it a third time? 2-2 at Anfield — Forest led twice — is the opening argument. Organised, physical, very hard to beat. The Couch has its eye on this one.

Farke kept them up last year and looks like doing it again. Four points from two games is a fine start. Elland Road will produce at least two upsets against top-six clubs. The Couch guarantees it.

25 years waited. Lampard's redemption arc. Zero points so far but there is hope. It will be uncomfortable. It will require a result on the last day. It will produce at least one viral moment. Survives — just.

The bold call. Arbeloa on the touchline, Real Madrid DNA in the squad. Fascinating on paper. Two losses by one-goal margins to start. Whether Arbeloa can organise them properly is the entire question. The Couch is making this call and standing by it.

Six points from two games — the best possible start. The Couch does not change the structural verdict. Hull's squad is solid Championship quality. Jakirović will make them difficult to beat but not hard to defeat across 38 games. The MKM Stadium will be electric. It will not be enough.

Won vs Sunderland. Went ahead at Old Trafford in the 29th minute, lost 2-5. That tells you everything about their spirit and nothing comforting about their prospects. O'Neil untested at this level. The Couch hates this prediction and is making it anyway.