Neto. Isak.
Brighton 5–0.

The Couch got five results right. None of the scores. That is technically an improvement over the weeks where the results themselves were wrong, and technically a humiliation because Matchweek 7 decided to do things in ways that were simultaneously correct and nothing like predicted. Brighton did not edge a 3–2 thriller. They demolished Crystal Palace 5–0 at the Amex, with Diego Gomez scoring a long-range strike at seven minutes that set the tone for an extraordinary A23 Derby. The Couch will file this under "right winner, wrong planet."

The headline of Matchweek 7 was Pedro Neto at Hill Dickinson Stadium. The Couch predicted a 2–2 draw — Everton holding firm, Barry and Dewsbury-Hall finding a way. Instead, Neto — the Portuguese winger who has quietly emerged as one of Chelsea's most dangerous outlets — put Chelsea ahead just after half-time and then sealed it in the ninetieth minute. David Moyes will be furious. His side did everything asked of them for 45 minutes. Then the quality differential asserted itself. Alonso's Chelsea are not just good at home. They are clinical everywhere.

Brentford vs Liverpool cannot be understood without its red cards. Brentford were the better side — Lewis-Potter's 44th-minute header had the Gtech rocking. Then Yarmolyuk was straight-red carded at 45+8' for violent conduct (headbutt on Jacquet, VAR upheld). Liverpool came out for the entire second half against ten men. Muñoz equalized at 62', Isak — the supposed fitness doubt — won it at 70'. Janelt's second yellow at 90+2' left Brentford with nine men at the final whistle. The scoreline flatters Liverpool; the football, for 44 minutes, told a different story. Andrews will be furious — and not without reason. Full deep dive →

Arsenal's win at the City Ground was the least spectacular and the most important. Nottingham Forest defended with discipline, with organisation, and with the specific intention of not letting Arsenal play. They succeeded for 79 minutes. Then Noni Madueke — who arrived at Arsenal last summer to add directness and pace to Arteta's system — struck. Champions do not need to be dominant. They need to find the goal when it matters. Arsenal found it. Manchester City are still three points ahead. The gap holds. But Arsenal are doing exactly what a side in a title race needs to do: winning the games they are supposed to win, regardless of how they look doing it.

At Elland Road, Matchweek 7 delivered the drama — just not the result the Couch anticipated. Bryan Mbeumo scored first for Manchester United at 35' — a reminder that even in crisis, Carrick's side have individual quality capable of hurting you. Dominic Calvert-Lewin equalized six minutes into the second half. Elland Road roared. The stadium sensed a winner that never came. A 1–1 draw in the Roses Derby is not the humiliation the Couch predicted for United. It is also not a result that meaningfully addresses their problems. Twelfth in the table, eight points. The Carrick conversation will not go away.

Elsewhere: Man City 3–2 Ipswich was more nervous than a match between the league leaders and a newly promoted side should be. Phil Foden scored at 19', Haaland added his first at 34' and his second at 69'. It looked comfortable. Then Ipswich — refusing to go quietly — pulled one back through Daichi Maeda at 21', and Zak Flemming converted a penalty in the 90th minute to make it 3–2. City got the three points. Their supporters got the coronary. Enzo Maresca will have noted the gap between performance level and result. Spurs beat Coventry 3–1 with James Maddison — back to something approaching his best — scoring first, Marmoush adding a second, and Ben Davies sealing it in stoppage time. Villa won 1–0 at St James' Park through Johan Manzambi's 36th-minute strike — efficient, ruthless, and exactly what Emery's side does.