Matchday 2.
Records Fell.

Michal Sadílek's 6th-minute strike was the fastest goal of the tournament at the time, until Teboho Mokoena's 83rd-minute penalty — awarded after Thapelo Maseko's shot struck Pavel Šulc's raised arm — pulled South Africa level despite missing two starters to suspension. Hours later in Zapopan, Israel Romo punished a Kim Seung-gyu error to beat South Korea 1–0, with 40-year-old Guillermo Ochoa benched entirely for his sixth World Cup. Mexico are through to the Round of 32 with a game to spare, on six points and a +3 goal difference. The Couch predicted Czechia 2–0 (wrong — it was a draw) and Mexico 1–1 (also wrong — Mexico won outright). Group A: 0-for-2.

Jonathan David's hat-trick — the first on Canadian soil since 1966 — anchored a 6–0 demolition of a Qatar side reduced to nine men after two red cards, handing the host nation their first-ever men's World Cup win. Alphonso Davies stayed fit and unused on the bench. Earlier, Switzerland sat scoreless until the 74th minute, when substitute Johan Manzambi scored twice in 166 seconds, before Ruben Vargas and a Granit Xhaka penalty turned it into a 4–1 win over Bosnia, who got a stunning Ermin Mahmić consolation. The Couch called both winners (Canada 2–0, Switzerland 2–0) and undersold both by miles — right teams, wrong scale, twice over.

Morocco needed 71 seconds to beat Scotland — a new fastest-goal record, breaking the mark Sadílek had set the day before — and Bounou was barely tested the rest of the afternoon. Brazil then beat Haiti 3–0 on a Matheus Cunha brace and a Vinícius Júnior strike, with 19-year-old Endrick making his World Cup debut and having a goal chalked off for offside. Haiti became the tournament's first eliminated team. Brazil lead the group on goal difference over Morocco, with Scotland still alive on three points. Predicted Scotland 1–1 (wrong — Scotland lost) and Brazil 2–0 (right winner, undershot by a goal).

With Christian Pulisic ruled out before kickoff, the USA still beat Australia 2–0 on a Cameron Burgess own goal and a VAR-confirmed Alex Freeman header — the USA's first back-to-back World Cup wins since 1930, and the Couch's only exact-scoreline call of the entire matchday. Paraguay then stunned Türkiye 1–0 on Ramón Galarza's 65-second strike — the fastest-goal record, broken for the second time in barely a day — and held on with ten men after Miguel Almirón's red card, the tournament's first-ever ejection under the satirical "Vini Jr. Rule." USA are already through on six points; Türkiye are bottom of the group, winless and pointless.

Germany trailed Franck Kessié's Ivory Coast before substitute Deniz Undav scored twice in the final half-hour (68', 90+4') to win it 2–1 — Germany's first Round-of-32 berth since their 2014 title run — despite two first-half goals chalked off. Hours later, Ecuador fired 27 shots and racked up 3.05 expected goals against Curaçao and still couldn't score, as keeper Eloy Room made 16 saves — tying Tim Howard's 2014 World Cup single-match record — to seal a scoreless draw. Germany top the group on six points and +7 goal difference. The Couch's Ecuador call (4–0) is the single worst prediction of the matchday — an exact mirror of Spain doing the same thing to us against Cape Verde in Matchday 1.

Brian Brobbey and Cody Gakpo each scored twice as the Netherlands routed Sweden 5–1, extending their unbeaten World Cup run to 14 consecutive matches — now the longest streak in tournament history, with Ronald Koeman warning the rest of the field afterward. In the 1,000th men's World Cup match ever played, Japan beat a Tunisia side missing five first-choice players to injury and managing without a head coach (fired four days earlier, the fastest sacking in World Cup history) by a 4–0 scoreline. Netherlands and Japan are tied on four points and +4 goal difference apiece, with the Dutch ranked ahead only on goals scored, 7–6. Predicted Netherlands 2–1 (right winner, off by four goals) and Tunisia 0–2 (right winner, off by two).

Belgium fired 23 shots at Iran and scored exactly zero of them, with Nathan Ngoy sent off late, leaving Kevin De Bruyne's golden generation needing results elsewhere. Egypt fell behind to a New Zealand header before goals from Ziko, Salah, and Trezeguet turned it into a 3–1 win — Egypt's first-ever World Cup win, 92 years after their 1934 debut. Egypt top Group G on four points; Iran sit second on goals scored over Belgium. Predicted Belgium 2–0 (wrong — no goals at all) and New Zealand 0–3 (right winner and margin, though New Zealand did get on the board).

Lamine Yamal's first World Cup goal and a Mikel Oyarzabal brace put Spain 3–0 up by half-time — both scorers then substituted before the second half even started — and an Al-Tambakti own goal made it 4–0, sending Spain into the Round of 32 first in the group. Cape Verde, with 40-something goalkeepers starting on both sides (Muslera and Vozinha), came from behind twice to draw 2–2 with Uruguay, Kevin Pina's free kick and Hélio Varela's bench strike doing the damage. Predicted Spain 3–0 (right scoreline and shutout, wrong scorers entirely) and Uruguay 3–0 (a total miss — Uruguay didn't win at all).

After a two-hour lightning delay — a first for the tournament — Kylian Mbappé's brace took his career World Cup tally to 16 goals, tying for second all-time, as France beat Iraq 3–0 with a Dembélé strike completing the scoring. Hours later, Norway and Senegal traded four goals in the final hour, with Erling Haaland's double making him Norway's all-time leading World Cup scorer in a 3–2 win. France and Norway are both already through on six points, with France ahead only on goal difference. Predicted France 5–0 (right winner and shutout, overshot the margin) and Norway 2–1 (right winner, undershot by a goal).

Messi missed an 8th-minute penalty, then scored twice himself — first to pass Miroslav Klose's all-time men's record (16 goals) in the 38th, then in the 90+5th to pass Marta's combined men's-and-women's record (17) — as Argentina beat Austria 2–0. Algeria came from behind to beat Jordan 1–2, Amine Gouiri's 82nd-minute winner eliminating Jordan on zero points from two matches. Argentina have already won the group; Austria lead Algeria on goal difference for second. The Couch's Argentina call (2–0) is our cleanest scoreline of the matchday — we just had no idea Messi would write himself into the record books twice instead of setting up the goals, as predicted.

A João Neves assist sent Cristiano Ronaldo through in the 6th minute to make him the first player ever to score at six different World Cups; a second Ronaldo goal, a Nuno Mendes free kick, an own goal, and a Rafael Leão cameo turned it into a 5–0 rout of Uzbekistan. Colombia beat DR Congo 1–0 on a 77th-minute Daniel Muñoz strike to reach six points from two matches — through to the Round of 32 with a game in hand. Predicted Portugal 4–0 (right winner and shutout, undershot by one) and Colombia 2–0 (right winner and shutout, overshot by one).

England racked up 19 shots and a record 78.8% possession share against Ghana — their highest in a World Cup match since 1966 — but Anthony Gordon and substitute Bukayo Saka were both saved by Benjamin Asare, and Nico O'Reilly's header came back off the crossbar, with Thomas Tuchel's decision to leave Adam Wharton and Trent Alexander-Arnold out of the squad looking costly against a Ghana defense missing Mohammed Kudus and Ibrahim Salisu. Luka Modrić earned his 200th international cap and got the win to go with it: a Zlatko Dalić double substitution paid off as Ante Budimir converted a Josip Stanišić cross in the 54th to beat Panama 1–0, eliminating Panama on zero points without scoring a single goal across two matches. Predicted England 3–0 (a complete miss — no goals at all) and Panama 0–2 (right winner, overshot the margin by one).