The Couch will confess something: when the draw was made and Australia vs Egypt appeared in the Round of 32, The Couch filed it under "probably comfortable Socceroos." That filing cabinet is now on fire. Egypt did not merely advance — they advanced in the most maximally Egyptian fashion possible, refusing to make it easy until the penalty shootout, at which point Mohamed Salah strolled up and chipped the goalkeeper down the middle like he was at training. Because he was, essentially. This is what Salah does.
The 90 minutes produced a match of genuine quality. Egypt took the lead through a beautifully worked set piece — Emam Ashour arriving at the far post to nod home from an inswinging delivery that Mathew Ryan never had a prayer on. Australia, to their enormous credit, did not fold. They pressed, they created, they forced Egypt backwards. The equalizer was unfortunate for Egypt: Mohamed Hany, under pressure and attempting to cut out a dangerous cross, diverted the ball into his own net. AT&T Stadium erupted.
Extra time added tension without adding goals. Australia had chances — Harry Souttar headed over from close range in the 103rd minute; Craig Goodwin forced a sharp save from Yassine Bounou. Egypt hit the post through a Salah effort that kissed the upright and bounced away. The penalties were always coming.
When Souttar — scorer of that missed header in extra time — saw his penalty saved by Bounou, Australia were in trouble. When Jordan Herrington blazed the second Australia penalty over the bar, the shootout was effectively over. Egypt converted all four, and Salah's fourth-kick chip — rolled softly down the centre as Ryan dived right — was the most composed thing seen in a penalty shootout at this World Cup. Egypt into the Round of 16. A landmark moment for African football.
The Couch predicted Egypt 2-1 in this preview. The Couch was simultaneously right (Egypt win) and wrong (1-1 after 120 minutes, penalties, chaos). This is what football does. The Couch predicted Salah would score; Salah scored a penalty in one of the most composed, infuriating, delightful ways possible. Does this count as correct? The Couch is choosing to say yes. The Couch has a very accommodating interpretation of the word "correct."
The bigger story here is not the prediction. It is the sheer historical weight of what Egypt just did. A nation that won the Africa Cup of Nations seven times but had only made three World Cups in its entire history just won its first ever knockout round match. In Dallas. With Salah chipping the goalkeeper. If you are an Egyptian football fan, this is the night you remember forever.
🇪🇬 Egypt face Argentina in the Round of 16. Salah vs Messi. In the USA. The Couch is going to need a bigger couch.
🇦🇺 Australia exit having reached the R32 for the second consecutive World Cup. Graham Arnold's project continues to build something real.