Hull City vs Man United

There are bad starts to a Premier League season. There are embarrassing starts. And then there is losing 2–0 at Hull City — a side widely tipped for relegation — in the opening fixture of a new managerial era. Manchester United, under Michael Carrick, experienced the third category on Saturday afternoon at the MKM Stadium.

Semi Ajayi opened the scoring in the 17th minute after a corner caused complete confusion inside the United box. The goal was scrappy, preventable, and exactly the kind of set-piece catastrophe that has dogged United for years. The Hull Centre-back rose high. The United defenders... well they seemed grounded... just not in a good way.

Nobel Mendy doubled the lead with a powerful header in the 38th minute. By half-time, Hull were two up, fully deserved, and visibly enjoying every second. The MKM Stadium was electric in a way it rarely gets to be. They were beating Manchester United. On opening day. 2–0. This is the stuff Hull supporters will tell their grandchildren about.

Carrick made changes at half-time, reorganised, and pushed higher. United created more in the second half but never seriously threatened to claw it back. The performance raised questions about the squad's readiness, the transfer business done over the summer, and whether rebuilding a club of this size was going to take considerably longer than the optimists suggested.

The Couch predicted 1–3 United. United lost 0–2 as the away side. The Couch got the score, the winner, and the match direction entirely wrong. The Couch acknowledges this and will move on immediately.